My tone of Blue

I too have my own " blue-eyed-boy ", does it show?
Maybe that's the reason why I only get mildly interested in other boys, the reason why I've never had a boyfriend, why every blue-eyed blonde makes me stop and stare, why I crush on those that mirror him . . . yet they don't even reach his heels.
All those eye tones that could make a girl melt, look a little dull to me.
Like appetizers net to a buffet, a pond next to the ocean. Easily overlooked, but still there.
It's not fair to feel this way. I was always overprotected by my parents, I went to private school with him, and found out that I started wearing darker clothes to cover up my somewhat chubby self, I even wore a perfume that smelled like strawberries and fixed my hair everyday for a reason.... I wanted to be looked at.
Not by adults that called me a "nice polite girl" and told my parents how envious they were, not to my parents that fixed me like a doll since birth, not by my friends who (no matter what) always told me I looked cute.
Do you see where I'm getting at?
My BB (let's just call him that) always "flattered" me every time he saw me. By "flattering" I mean things like corny pick up phrases and cheesy compliments... now that I look back, he never once was a pig, no puns, no dirty talk like usually guys use.
He was a gentleman... in his own twisted way.
I was very forgetful of my others crush's faces, I tried to remember them the next day, or even when I got home and just couldn't. But I haven't seen that beautiful bastard in over two years and still remember his face like he stood in front of me, smirking cockily... that pompous jerk.
My last birthday, I hadn't seen him in a year and thought he had already forgotten me. Even though we were in the same class and school from kindergarten to ninth grade, he had probably found a new poor girl to harass. Ignore that stab of jealousy.
My birth day, it was only a few minutes until mid-night, my Facebook wall (I don't use it much, only to contact a few people) was filled with tons of congratulation messages from people I hardly even knew.
I was ready then, ready to let go of those sad excuses of blushes, the only one that could make me blush, the irrepressible smiles he provoked, the stabs of the comments he made with his friends, the conversations and friendly fights we had together, his annoying lovable quirks, the idiotic way he stole my cellphone and put his number under the name "hot stuff", those beautiful blue eyes...
I felt lonely.
Tons of reliable friends, loving (and happily divorced parents), loving family and nice strangers... and I felt alone.
Just then

*(1) Facebook comment(s) on your wall*

-Happy birthday beautiful- BB

I cried. Pathetic really, even if it had been my friends that told him, his wonderful mother or even a god damned Facebook reminder, it made me cry.

He bothered to wish me a happy birthday at all. I wasn't so lonely anymore.
I hid that spark of hope that I'll see him again... and Disney and books weren't so misleading.
I'll see him again, an you keep a secret?

~I might have fallen in love at first sight~

My Wonderland

In my " Alice in Wonderland " I thought myself to be Alice, lost, curious and looking for a Mad hatter.
But analyzing the story better, perhaps the Cheshire Cat is more . . . me.
Disappearing without a warning, appearing in the same fashion, when gone you can still see a lingering sardonic smirk, manipulative, giving misleading and blunt-out wrong indications and even slightly presumptuous. In the wondrous  world of Alice, why not even be both? Just for kicks.
A Cheshire Cat named Alice, a cat masked as a girl, strolling throughout Wonderland deliberately lost just to find herself falling in the arms of a certain Mad Hatter in the middle of a Tea Party.
The rest of the people in the story are mere cards in a deck and dispensable pieces on a chess board.
I can't help but wonder though, in a game there are two players, have I yet to meet my opponent?

Quotes from "Reckless" by Cornelia Funke

p . 53
" Nibble , nibble , little mouse , who's been nibbling at my house? "

p . 97
" How they bowed their vain heads . Look at them , Therese . Wouldn't it be nice to have them all chopped off?
"

p . 98
" Power . Like wine when you have it . Like poison when you loose it ."

p . 134
" " My prices have increased considerably in the last three years ," he said . " I 'll let you live , " Jacob replied " That 's more than a raise than you deserve ." (...) " You seem desperate to get back to your old flame , " he purred ," and the price always rises with the desperation of the costumer ." In reply , Jacob tapped the nuzzle of his gun against the Dwarf  's hat . " Trust me ," he said , " this costumer is desperate enough to shoot you at the moment 's notice ." "

Quote 3#

" Youth wants to be stimulated rather than taught."

by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Small Details

In the morning while leaving the subway to catch the next one , I glanced quickly at a young adult with a computer bag in tow . He brought a book in his left hand with its spine turn downwards and the cover turned outwards . A sheaf , a " pocket book " , bigger than mine of 400 pages , I deducted about 700 . The marker was almost halfway but more to the outwards side , meaning , he had started the book some time ago and was almost halfway into it . Perhaps even page 260 or so . . .
Amazing the deductive reasoning of the human mind .

Leafless

I feel like a leafless tree , not lifeless , just leafless . I await my new layer patiently .
I look around and see green layers , dirty-green , jasmine-green , oak-green , Autumn-green , new green , old green and yellowed green ready to fall from the other trees ' branches onto the floor .
But green was never my color , maybe I 'll have flowers this time , or even purple leafs .
What if I tried a dark layer this time . dark enough to camouflage me in the midst of all the dead trees .

Note to self :

It 's most fascinating when a writer bares the gift to make a reader lose his way .

Quote 2#

" I may not have gone where I intended to go , but I think I have ended up where I needed to be ."

by Douglas Adams

Quote 2#

" I may not have gone where I intended to go , but I think I have ended up where I needed to be ."

by Douglas Adams

Note to self :

People say that the opportunity just " slipped away " when , nine times out of ten , it passed them by and they didn 't even bother to reach out .